Archive for Mindful Communication

Communicating with Relatives and Others

1000269_question__markYour communication skills, especially listening, are tested the most with family.

I’m in Indiana this week visiting relatives of my main squeeze–the perfect opportunity to practice what I preach.

Good communication requires listening and staying present and engaged in the dialogue.  Asking sincere questions is the best way to gentle nudge a conversation along.

To keep the conversation from sounding like an interrogation try repeating the last word or two spoken with a question mark on the end.  It invites more information in a gentle way.

For example, if Aunt Shirley’s last few words are . . .”Bob’s sister used to live in this area.”  You reply  “…in this area?”

This is enough for Aunt Shirley to expound. . .”yes, this area  was quite beautiful before the flood.  You…”the flood?”

Are you getting the gist? It’s quite simple and takes the angst out of trying to find something in common to talk about.

Try it. You might be surprised at how interesting YOU become when you haven’t spoken more than a few  words and phrases.

Non-Verbal Communication…a Hug!

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Michael Losier’s LOA Program Inspires NY Audience

I had the privilege of helping my sister host Michael Losier last week in his NY appearance. His Law of Attraction program was well received and the audience was clearly involved in the presentation. Losier has honed his LOA process930872_freedom-bird down to a science and the often challenging NY audience paid rapt attention.

Losier’s new book, The Law of Connection,  sold well and I recommend it as a both a resource and a training outline for NLP and communication skills seminar leaders.

My sister’s effort at producing this event was herculean. I was also impressed by Losier’s  graciousness at acknowledging the difficulties of getting New Yorker’s (or other large city inhabitants) to commit time and money up front to attend anything. It’s a shame really, as the the information and the clarity in which he presents the Law of Attraction works for anyone – personally or professionally.

Thank you, Michael, it was an honor.

Connection–The New Law of Attraction

51nwgzqrzcl_sl160_connection Connection may be the new word for communication. Law of Connection: The Science of Using NLP to Create Ideal Personal and Professional Relationships is also the new book by Michael Losier, the author of The Law of Attraction. Losier will début the book at his New York appearance on June 11, 2009. Losier, an NLP practitioner, simplifies the principles of neuro-linguistic programming into exercises, scripts and tips for creating ideal personal and professional relationships. Tons of examples and exercises make applying and integrating NLP into your life a simple process. Connection the ability to create rapport with anyone at any time-a key skill for today’s high tech-low touch world. Get connected!

Communication and Change

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Bless me world for I have sinned. It’s been several months since my last communication. I thought my last post might have been my swan song. But . . . you never know.

A change for the better.The last few months have been spent creating a business where I can use my gifts and talents in a way that is helpful for others. In particular, helpful to those people that want, need and can pay for the wisdom and benefits of said talents.

No easy task indeed. Some people just know what they are suppose to share with the world and others know the how but not the what. Let me explain. I’m supposed to teach. Not kids, but adults and more specifically business people. The teaching is the “how”, yet the “what” was unclear for me.

I knew the big topic was communication skills. I also knew that the story around that subject was the message that “you choose your response to any situation.” That’s how this blog started-a need to express my dreams for a better life (once again) after experiencing a few more rounds of “stuff happens.” Fun venue, but it didn’t butter the bread.

A few wrong turns, a couple of detours, several weeks of teeth gnashing and a bit of progress is beginning to show. A new enterprise (or two) is in the works-which gets back to why “help yourself” . . . was abandoned. I missed this placed. I needed to share some musings-yet, it’s no guarantee I’ll be back for good. Stay tuned.

I Wonder What I’ll Learn Today

I wonder why everyone wants to talk but no one wants to listen. Just watch Celebrity Apprentice to see the perfect example.1108003_say_what

I wonder why interrupters “know” what someone is going to say but aren’t very intuitive about anything else.

I wonder why communication “breaks down” everyday. Is this the grand lesson we never get to master?

I wonder why “the first, most important thing to do” always follows the thing you’re actually doing.

I wonder where interesting words have gone. Is ennui too lazy to make an appearance?Is lugubrious too grief-stricken to rise from the dead? Does oracular feel too shrouded in mystery to grace us with its presence?

I wonder if we’re here to hear.

I wonder if “presence” is really the present.

 I wonder why, when I’ve immersed myself in “self-growth,” I’m still not five foot tall.

What the Heck are Soft Skills and Why are they so Important?

heart-snowSimply put, soft skills are the abilities  to get along with others. Okay, they include a lot more than that but I’m painting with a broad stroke.  

Good soft skills make the world go around. Poor skills create misunderstanding or unfavorable impressions.

If no man is an island then soft skills are the mainland. Think of the cell phone  commercial featuring a customer with his service team behind him. That team represents all the skills you need to ensure you stay connected. And staying connected is the key to everything you hope to accomplish in this world.

Why-because everything you do, you do with or through other people.

Much like Robert Fulghum’s book, All I Really Need to Know I Learned in Kindergarten or Dale Carnegie’s, How to Win Friends & Influence People, the principles are simple. The execution-not always so easy.

A quick review of Fulghum’s lessons learned reveals the simplicity. Consider these. . . Read more

“The Success Principles” a Reference Book for Life

photo_3494_20090110open-bookI’ve been a fan of Jack Canfield before he became a super-star in the “Achievement” market. Yes, Jack Canfield is the co-creator of the “Chicken Soup Series” phenomenon, but that was never the source of my enthusiasm.

What initiated my fervor was a book published in 1995 called ‘The Aladdin Factor’ , written by Canfield and Mark Victor Hansen. The premise of this little tome is about asking for anything-something I struggled with at the time. My now yellowed copy is dog-eared, highlighted and post-noted to this day. Every now and again I pull it off the shelf as a reminder that I don’t have to know everything; I only have to know that it’s okay to ask for help, for support, for money, for the sale, for anything.

Ten years, many books and mega-fame later, Canfield wrote The Success Principles(TM): How to Get from Where You Are to Where You Want to Be with Janet Switzer. Equally dog-eared and post-noted, this voulume is stashed close-at-hand as a life resource. The sixty-four principles are supported with stories an dhow-to’s.  A random pick of any page and something  I read is going to give me an a-ha moment.

Right now I flipped open to page 157 (dog-eared) and the topic is “the most valuable question you may ever learn.” Wonder what that is? . . .

Read more

Have You Listened to Yourself Lately?

33395_mouthThere are two kinds of people in the world. People who focus on solutions and people who take delight in expanding problems. You can tell the difference by listening to what they say.

Solution-oriented people rarely spend time assigning blame. They are forward thinking and take actions that move things along. These creative problem solvers use both logic and random input to work out challenges.

Personally or professionally, solution types use language that is distinctly positive without being Pollyannaish. You’ll hear them say, “What’s another possibility?” or “How about this option?” They tend to be collaborative in an effort to generate ideas. Overall, they are more optimistic and enjoyable to be around.

Problem-oriented people love Read more

Listen . . . A Thought is Just a Thought

baby1Over the years, I have encountered people who have said to me, “That’s just how I think, I can’t change overnight!”

Of course, my first reaction to that is-“Of course you can.”

I might suggest that a good chunk of your day is spent changing your thoughts. For instance, you might be thinking about pizza for lunch until a co-worker suggests Chinese pot-stickers.  Miraculously that pizza thought switches to fried and steamed dumplings dipped in fermented black bean sauce. It didn’t take days, hours or even minutes to make the switch. You did it in a moment.

So what happened? Were you less committed to the pizza idea than to the thought that says “I hate my job” or “I don’t like that person?” Maybe . . . or maybe you were given an alternate choice for the pizza but you can’t see another choice for “I hate my job.” 

But a thought is just a thought- Read more